Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Written on August 3, 2011:

Break ups are hard! They hurt. You put your heart and soul into someone (or something) and things are wonderful. You think life can't get any better. Then WHAM! It's over. You don't really understand why. You go over and over in your head the "shoulda's" and "woulda's". You consider all the possibilities to save the relationship. You beg and plead. You cry and find false hope in little shreds that maybe....just maybe things will go back and you can begin to breath again. But they don't. You cry and become depressed, then angry and resentful, then finally you just accept. It is what it is. Time to move on. Things are about to change and you just have to roll with it. I have been going through a long, drawn out breakup, not with one particular person, but with my life as I knew it for the past two years.

Change is inevitable. I usually handle it well, but the latest changes have presented a challenge for me. I had finally settled in to house, made neighbors, secured my place at a job and established friendships all around me. I was comfortable. I loved where I worked and who I worked for. I felt respected and appreciated. My personal life and professional life had merged. My coworkers were my best friends. The same people I saw everyday were the same people my husband and I would hang out with on the weekends. We shared our lives with these people and they equally shared theirs. But suddenly those things were changing and it was completely out of my control. I felt like someone was breaking up with me, and I had done nothing wrong. I had worked hard and given everything. I was heartbroken.

Our district was reallocating positions due to a new campus opening and shifting campus zoning. Our campus was losing positions and since I was more recently hired, I would be one of the first to go. Performance was not a consideration. It was simply based on hire date. I was going to have to move to a new campus about 15 minutes away and change grade levels. I was going to have to learn a whole new campus climate, procedures, and make new friends. I was not happy. I felt like I was being dumped.

Two years ago I found myself married and a month later moved to another state, a new job, and a new circle of friends. My husband had been offered a job transfer within his company from Augusta, Georgia to Houston, Texas. I prayed about the move and knew that it was a fantastic opportunity for my new husband. I wanted to be a supportive wife. I was feeling the need for a change in my employment and saw his offer as an opportunity for myself as well. I was excited and knew this was God's plan for us. I accepted this change whole-heartedly without shedding a tear. If I could accept those changes, those HUGE changes, why has it been so difficult to accept this recent change?

How do I learn to accept this change with a joyful heart? How do I find a way to be positive about the changes in my life and get excited and hopeful about this new job location? I just pray for myself that I can accept these changes because I do believe things happen as God intends them, and I need to just sit back and enjoy the ride because I am not the driver.